Milestones
1. Important Milestones: Your Baby at Two Months
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 2 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Begins to smile at people
⇒ Can briefly calm himself (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
⇒ Tries to look at parent
Language/Communication
⇒ Coos, makes gurgling sounds
⇒ Turns head toward sounds
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Pays attention to faces
⇒ Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance
⇒ Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity doesn’t change
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Can hold head up and begins to push up when lying on tummy
⇒ Makes smoother movements with arms and legs
Act early by requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t respond to loud sounds
⇒ Doesn’t watch things as they move
⇒ Doesn’t smile at people
⇒ Doesn’t bring hands to mouth
⇒ Can’t hold head up when pushing up when on tummy.
2. Important Milestones: Your Baby at Four Months
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 4 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Smiles spontaneously, especially at people
⇒ Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
⇒ Copies some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning
Language/Communication
⇒ Begins to babble
⇒ Babbles with expression and copies sounds he hears
⇒ Cries in different ways to show hunger, pain, or being tired
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Lets you know if she is happy or sad
⇒ Responds to affection
⇒ Reaches for toy with one hand
⇒ Uses hands and eyes together, such as seeing a toy and reaching for it
⇒ Follows moving things with eyes from side to side
⇒ Watches faces closely
⇒ Recognizes familiar people and things at a distance
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Holds head steady, unsupported
⇒ Pushes down on legs when feet are on a hard surface
⇒ May be able to roll over from tummy to back
⇒ Can hold a toy and shake it and swing at dangling toys
⇒ Brings hands to mouth
⇒ When lying on stomach, pushes up to elbows
Act early requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t watch things as they move
⇒ Doesn’t smile at people
⇒ Can’t hold head steady
⇒ Doesn’t coo or make sounds
⇒ Doesn’t bring things to mouth
⇒ Doesn’t push down with legs when feet are placed on a hard surface
⇒ Has trouble moving one or both eyes in all directions
3. Important Milestones: Your Baby at Six Months
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development.
Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 6 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger
⇒ Likes to play with others, especially parents
⇒ Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
⇒ Likes to look at self in a mirror
Language/Communication
⇒ Responds to sounds by making sounds
⇒ Strings vowels together when babbling (“ah,” “eh,” “oh”) and likes taking turns with parent while making Sounds.
⇒ Responds to own name
⇒ Makes sounds to show joy and displeasure
⇒ Begins to say consonant sounds (jabbering with “m,” “b”)
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Looks around at things nearby
⇒ Brings things to mouth
⇒ Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach
⇒ Begins to pass things from one hand to the other
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Rolls over in both directions (front to back, back to front)
⇒ Begins to sit without support
⇒ When standing, supports weight on legs and might bounce
⇒ Rocks back and forth, sometimes crawling backward before moving forward
Act early by requesting for assistance if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t try to get things that are in reach
⇒ Shows no affection for caregivers
⇒ Doesn’t respond to sounds around him
⇒ Has difficulty getting things to mouth
⇒ Doesn’t make vowel sounds (“ah”, “eh”, “oh”)
⇒ Doesn’t roll over in either direction
⇒ Doesn’t laugh or make squealing sounds
⇒ Seems very stiff, with tight muscles
⇒ Seems very floppy, like a rag doll
4. Important Milestones: Your Baby at Nine Months
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 9 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ May be afraid of strangers
⇒ May be clingy with familiar adults
⇒ Has favorite toys
Language/Communication
⇒ Understands “no”
⇒ Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
⇒ Copies sounds and gestures of others
⇒ Uses fingers to point at things
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Watches the path of something as it falls
⇒ Looks for things he sees you hide
⇒ Plays peek-a-boo
⇒ Puts things in her mouth
⇒ Moves things smoothly from one hand to the other
⇒ Picks up things like cereal o’s between thumb and index finger
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Stands, holding on
⇒ Can get into sitting position
⇒ Sits without support
⇒ Pulls to stand
⇒ Crawls
Act early by asking for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t bear weight on legs with support
⇒ Doesn’t sit with help
⇒ Doesn’t babble (“mama”, “baba”, “dada”)
⇒ Doesn’t play any games involving back-and-forth play
⇒ Doesn’t respond to own name
⇒ Doesn’t seem to recognize familiar people
⇒ Doesn’t look where you point
⇒ Doesn’t transfer toys from one hand to the other.
5. Important Milestones: Your Child at One Year
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by his or her 1st birthday. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most children do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Is shy or nervous with strangers
⇒ Cries when mom or dad leaves
⇒ Has favorite things and people
⇒ Shows fear in some situations
⇒ Hands you a book when he wants to hear a story
⇒ Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
⇒ Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
⇒ Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”
Language/Communication
⇒ Responds to simple spoken requests
⇒ Uses simple gestures, like shaking head “no” or waving “bye-bye”
⇒ Makes sounds with changes in tone (sounds more like speech)
⇒ Says “mama” and “dada” and exclamations like “uh-oh!”
⇒ Tries to say words you say
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Explores things in different ways, like shaking, banging, throwing
⇒ Finds hidden things easily
⇒ Looks at the right picture or thing when it’s named
⇒ Copies gestures
⇒ Starts to use things correctly; for example, drinks from a cup, brushes hair
⇒ Bangs two things together
⇒ Puts things in a container, takes things out of a container
⇒ Lets things go without help
⇒ Pokes with index (pointer) finger
⇒ Follows simple directions like “pick up the toy”
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Gets to a sitting position without help
⇒ Pulls up to stand, walks holding on to furniture (“cruising”)
⇒ May take a few steps without holding on
⇒ May stand alone
Act early by requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t crawl
⇒ Can’t stand when supported
⇒ Doesn’t search for things that she sees you hide
⇒ Doesn’t say single words like “mama” or “dada”
⇒ Doesn’t learn gestures like waving or shaking head
⇒ Doesn’t point to things
⇒ Loses skills he once had
Parenting Tips
Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your baby during this time:
Talk to your baby. She will find your voice calming.
Answer when your baby makes sounds by repeating the sounds and adding words. This will help him learn to use language.
Read to your baby. This will help her develop and understand language and sounds.
Sing to your baby and play music. This will help your baby develop a love for music and will help his brain development.
Praise your baby and give her lots of loving attention.
Spend time cuddling and holding your baby. This will help him feel cared for and secure.
Play with your baby when she’s alert and relaxed. Watch your baby closely for signs of being tired or fussy so that she can take a break from playing.
Distract your baby with toys and move him to safe areas when he starts moving and touching things that he shouldn’t touch.
Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Parenting can be hard work! It is easier to enjoy your new baby and be a positive, loving parent when you are feeling good yourself.
6. Important Milestones: Your Child at Eighteen Months
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 18 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Likes to hand things to others as play
⇒ May have temper tantrums
⇒ May be afraid of strangers
⇒ Shows affection to familiar people
⇒ Plays simple pretend, such as feeding a doll
⇒ May cling to caregivers in new situations
⇒ Points to show others something interesting
⇒ Explores alone but with parent close by
Language/Communication
⇒ Says several single words
⇒ Says and shakes head “no”
⇒ Points to show someone what he wants
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Knows what ordinary things are for; for example, telephone, brush, spoon
⇒ Points to get the attention of others
⇒ Shows interest in a doll or stuffed animal by pretending to feed
⇒ Points to one body part
⇒ Scribbles on his own
⇒ Can follow 1-step verbal commands without any gestures; for example, sits when you say “sit down”
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Walks alone
⇒ May walk up steps and run
⇒ Pulls toys while walking
⇒ Can help undress herself
⇒ Drinks from a cup
⇒ Eats with a spoon
Act early by requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t point to show things to others
⇒ Can’t walk
⇒ Doesn’t know what familiar things are for
⇒ Doesn’t copy others
⇒ Doesn’t gain new words
⇒ Doesn’t have at least 6 words
⇒ Doesn’t notice or mind when a caregiver leaves or returns
⇒ Loses skills he once had
7. Important Milestones: Your Child at Two Years
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by his or her 2nd birthday. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Copies others, especially adults and older children
⇒ Gets excited when with other children
⇒ Shows more and more independence
⇒ Shows defiant behavior (doing what he has been told not to)
⇒ Plays mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children, such as in chase games
Language/Communication
⇒ Points to things or pictures when they are named
⇒ Knows names of familiar people and body parts
⇒ Says sentences with 2 to 4 words
⇒ Follows simple instructions
⇒ Repeats words overheard in conversation
⇒ Points to things in a book
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Finds things even when hidden under two or three covers
⇒ Begins to sort shapes and colors
⇒ Completes sentences and rhymes in familiar books
⇒ Plays simple make-believe games
⇒ Builds towers of 4 or more blocks
⇒ Might use one hand more than the other
⇒ Follows two-step instructions such as “Pick up your shoes and put them in the closet.”
⇒ Names items in a picture book such as a cat, bird, or dog
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Stands on tiptoe
⇒ Kicks a ball
⇒ Begins to run
⇒ Climbs onto and down from furniture without help
⇒ Walks up and down stairs holding on
⇒ Throws ball overhand
⇒ Makes or copies straight lines and circles
Act early by requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Doesn’t use 2-word phrases (for example, “drink milk”)
⇒ Doesn’t know what to do with common things, like a brush, phone, fork, spoon
⇒ Doesn’t copy actions and words
⇒ Doesn’t follow simple instructions
⇒ Doesn’t walk steadily.
⇒ Loses skills she once had
Positive Parenting Tips
Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:
Parenting Tip.
⇒ Read to your toddler daily.
⇒ Ask her to find objects for you or name body parts and objects.
⇒ Play matching games with your toddler, like shape sorting and simple puzzles.
⇒ Encourage him to explore and try new things.
⇒ Help to develop your toddler’s language by talking with her and adding to words she starts. For example, if your toddler says "baba", you can respond, "Yes, you are right―that is a bottle."
⇒ Encourage your child's growing independence by letting him help with dressing himself and feeding himself.
⇒ Respond to wanted behaviors more than you punish unwanted behaviors (use only very brief time outs).
Always tell or show your child what she should do instead.
⇒ Encourage your toddler’s curiosity and ability to recognize common objects by taking field trips together to the park or going on a bus ride.
8. Important Milestones: Your Child at Three Years
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by his or her 3rd birthday. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Copies adults and friends
⇒ Shows affection for friends without prompting
⇒ Takes turns in games
⇒ Shows concern for crying friend
⇒ Understands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
⇒ Shows a wide range of emotions
⇒ Separates easily from mom and dad
⇒ May get upset with major changes in routine
⇒ Dresses and undresses self
Language/Communication
⇒ Follows instructions with 2 or 3 steps
⇒ Can name most familiar things
⇒ Understands words like “in,” “on,” and “under”
⇒ Says first name, age, and gender
⇒ Names a friend
⇒ Says words like “I,” “me,” “we,” and “you” and some plurals (cars, dogs, cats)
⇒ Talks well enough for strangers to understand most of the time
⇒ Carries on a conversation using 2 to 3 sentences
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts
⇒ Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
⇒ Does puzzles with 3 or 4 pieces
⇒ Understands what “two” means
⇒ Copies a circle with pencil or crayon
⇒ Turns book pages one at a time
⇒ Builds towers of more than 6 blocks
⇒ Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handle
Movement/Physical Development
⇒ Climbs well
⇒ Runs easily
⇒ Pedals a tricycle (3-wheel bike)
⇒ Walks up and down stairs, one foot on each step
Act early by requesting for help if your child:
⇒ Falls down a lot or has trouble with stairs
⇒ Drools or has very unclear speech
⇒ Can’t work simple toys (such as peg boards, simple puzzles, turning handle)
⇒ Doesn’t speak in sentences
⇒ Doesn’t understand simple instructions
⇒ Doesn’t play pretend or make-believe
⇒ Doesn’t want to play with other children or with toys
⇒ Doesn’t make eye contact
⇒ Loses skills he once had
Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:
Positive Parenting
⇒ Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.
⇒ Encourage your child to take part in pretend play.
⇒ Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.
⇒ Help your child to explore things around her by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.
⇒ Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.
⇒ Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.
⇒ Give your child attention and praise when she follows instructions and shows positive behavior and limit
⇒ Attention for defiant behavior like tantrums. Teach your child acceptable ways to show that she’s upset.
9. Important Milestones: Your Child at Four Years
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by his or her 4th birthday. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Enjoys doing new things
⇒ Plays “Mom” and “Dad”
⇒ Is more and more creative with make-believe play
⇒ Would rather play with other children than by himself
⇒ Cooperates with other children
⇒ Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
⇒ Talks about what she likes and what she is interested in
Language/Communication
⇒ Knows some basic rules of grammar, such as correctly using “he” and “she”
⇒ Sings a song or says a poem from memory such as the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or the “Wheels on the Bus”
⇒ Tells stories
⇒ Can say first and last name
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Names some colors and some numbers
⇒ Understands the idea of counting
⇒ Starts to understand time
⇒ Remembers parts of a story
⇒ Understands the idea of “same” and “different”
⇒ Draws a person with 2 to 4 body parts
⇒ Uses scissors
⇒ Starts to copy some capital letters
⇒ Plays board or card games
⇒ Tells you what he thinks is going to happen next in a book
Movement/Physical Development :
⇒ Hops and stands on one foot up to 2 seconds
⇒ Catches a bounced ball most of the time
⇒ Pours, cuts with supervision, and mashes own food
Act early and request for help if your child:
⇒ Can’t jump in place
⇒ Has trouble scribbling
⇒ Shows no interest in interactive games or make-believe
⇒ Ignores other children or doesn’t respond to people outside the family
⇒ Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet
⇒ Can’t retell a favorite story
⇒ Doesn’t follow 3-part commands
⇒ Doesn’t understand “same” and “different”
⇒ Doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly
⇒ Speaks unclearly
⇒ Loses skills he once had
10. Important Milestones: Your Child at Five Years
Milestone Checklist
How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.
Check the milestones your child has reached by his or her 5th birthday. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.
What most babies do at this age:
Social and Emotional
⇒ Wants to please friends
⇒ Wants to be like friends
⇒ More likely to agree with rules
⇒ Likes to sing, dance, and act
⇒ Shows concern and sympathy for others
⇒ Is aware of gender
⇒ Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
⇒ Shows more independence (for example, may visit a next-door neighbor by himself [adult supervision is still needed]
⇒ Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very cooperative
Language/Communication
⇒ Speaks very clearly
⇒ Tells a simple story using full sentences
⇒ Uses future tense; for example, “Grandma will be here.”
⇒ Says name and address
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
⇒ Counts 10 or more things
⇒ Can draw a person with at least 6 body parts
⇒ Can print some letters or numbers
⇒ Copies a triangle and other geometric shapes
⇒ Knows about things used every day, like money and food
Movement/Physical Development :
⇒ Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer
⇒ Hops; may be able to skip
⇒ Can do a somersault
⇒ Uses a fork and spoon and sometimes a table knife
⇒ Can use the toilet on her own
⇒ Swings and climbs
Act early and ask for assistance immediately if your child :
⇒ Doesn’t show a wide range of emotions
⇒ Shows extreme behavior (unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad)
⇒ Unusually withdrawn and not active
⇒ Is easily distracted, has trouble focusing on one activity for more than 5 minutes
⇒ Doesn’t respond to people, or responds only superficially
⇒ Can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
⇒ Doesn’t play a variety of games and activities
⇒ Can’t give first and last name
⇒ Doesn’t use plurals or past tense properly
⇒ Doesn’t talk about daily activities or experiences
⇒ Doesn’t draw pictures
⇒ Can’t brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help
⇒ Loses skills he once had
Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your preschooler during this time:
⇒ Continue to read to your child. Nurture her love for books by taking her to the library or bookstore.
⇒ Let your child help with simple chores.
⇒ Encourage your child to play with other children. This helps him to learn the value of sharing and friendship.
⇒ Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Explain and show the behavior that you expect from her. Whenever you tell her no, follow up with what he should be doing instead.
⇒ Help your child develop good language skills by speaking to him in complete sentences and using "grown up" words. Help him to use the correct words and phrases.
⇒ Help your child through the steps to solve problems when she is upset.
⇒ Give your child a limited number of simple choices (for example, deciding what to wear, when to play, and what to eat for snack).
11. Middle Childhood (6-8 years of age)
Developmental Milestones
Middle childhood brings many changes in a child’s life. By this time, children can dress themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie their shoes. Having independence from family becomes more important now. Events such as starting school bring children this age into regular contact with the larger world. Friendships become more and more important. Physical, social, and mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a critical time for children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends, schoolwork, and sports.
Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:
⇒ Emotional/Social Changes
⇒ Children in this age group might:
⇒ Show more independence from parents and family.
⇒ Start to think about the future.
⇒ Understand more about his or her place in the world.
⇒ Pay more attention to friendships and teamwork.
⇒ Want to be liked and accepted by friends.
Thinking and Learning
⇒ Children in this age group might:
⇒ Show rapid development of mental skills.
⇒ Learn better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings.
⇒ Have less focus on one’s self and more concern for others.
Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:
⇒ Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.
⇒ Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as setting the table.
⇒ Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.
⇒ Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
⇒ Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself and rely less on approval or reward from others.
⇒ Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.
⇒ Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when she has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
⇒ Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your community.
⇒ Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff and get to understand their learning goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.
⇒ Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each other.
⇒ Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make him feel bad about himself. Follow up any discussion about what not to do with a discussion of what to do instead.
⇒ Praise your child for good behavior. It’s best to focus praise more on what your child does ("you worked hard to figure this out") than on traits she can’t change ("you are smart").
S⇒ upport your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage her to solve problems, such as a disagreement with another child, on her own.
⇒ Practice healthy eating habits and physical activity early. Encourage active play, and be a role model by eating healthy at family mealtimes and having an active lifestyle.
⇒ Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sports, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
12. Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)
Developmental Milestones
Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school.
Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might:br>
⇒ Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same gender.
⇒ Experience more peer pressure.
⇒ Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.
Thinking and Learning
⇒ Children in this age group might:
⇒ Face more academic challenges at school.
⇒ Become more independent from the family.
⇒ Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
⇒ Have an increased attention span.
Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:
⇒ Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.
⇒ Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
⇒ Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.
⇒ Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
⇒ Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
⇒ Meet the families of your child’s friends.
⇒ Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
⇒ Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
⇒ Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.
⇒ Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.
⇒ When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying "you must be proud of yourself" rather than simply "I’m proud of you" can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.
⇒ Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
⇒ Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
⇒ Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.
13. Young Teens (12-14 years of age)
Developmental Milestones
This is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change as puberty begins. They might be worried about these changes and how they are looked at by others. This also will be a time when your teen might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products or party late. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They become more independent, with their own personality and interests.
Here is some information on how young teens develop:
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might:
⇒ Show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes.
⇒ Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence.
⇒ Experience more moodiness.
⇒ Show more interest in and influence by peer group.
⇒ Express less affection toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
⇒ Feel stress from more challenging school work.
⇒ Develop eating problems.
⇒ Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, and other problems.
Thinking and Learning
Children in this age group might:
⇒ Have more ability for complex thought.
⇒ Be better able to express feelings through talking.
⇒ Develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.
Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:
⇒ Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and relationships.
⇒ Encourage your teen to get exercise. She might join a team sport or take up an individual sport. Helping with household tasks such as mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or washing the car also will keep your teen active.
⇒ Meal time is very important for families. Eating together helps teens make better choices about the foods they eat, promotes healthy weight, and gives your family time to talk with each other.
⇒ Meet and get to know your teen’s friends.
⇒ Show an interest in your teen’s school life.
⇒ Help your teen make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
⇒ Respect your teen’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.
⇒ When there is a conflict, be clear about goals and expectations (like getting good grades, keeping things clean, and showing respect), but allow your teen input on how to reach those goals (like when and how to study or clean).
Child Safety.
You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here are a few tips to help protect your child:
⇒ Make sure your teen knows about the importance of wearing seatbelts. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 12- to 14-year-olds.
⇒ Encourage your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike or playing contact sports. Injuries from sports and other activities are common.
⇒ Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and other risky activity. Ask him what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your thoughts and feelings with him. Listen to what she says and answer her questions honestly and directly.
⇒ Talk with your teen about the importance of having friends who are interested in positive activities. Encourage her to avoid peers who pressure her to make unhealthy choices.
⇒ Know where your teen is and whether an adult is present. Make plans with him for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
⇒ Set clear rules for your teen when she is home alone. Talk about such issues as having friends at the house, how to handle situations that can be dangerous (emergencies, fire, drugs, peer pressure, etc.), and completing homework or household tasks.
14. Teenagers (15-17 years of age)
Developmental Milestones
This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common, especially among girls. During this time, your teen is developing his unique personality and opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests as he develops a more clear sense of who he is. This is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility and many will be leaving home soon after high school.
Here is some information on how teens develop:
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might:
⇒ Have more interest in the opposite gender
⇒ Go through less conflict with parents.
⇒ Show more independence from parents.
⇒ Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
⇒ Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
⇒ Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, and other problems.
Thinking and Learning
⇒ Children in this age group might:
⇒ Learn more defined work habits.
⇒ Show more concern about future school and work plans.
⇒ Be better able to give reasons for their own choices, including about what is right or wrong.
Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your teen during this time:
⇒ Talk with your teen about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
⇒ Show interest in your teen’s school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
⇒ Encourage your teen to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
⇒ Compliment your teen and celebrate his efforts and accomplishments.
⇒ Show affection for your teen. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
⇒ Respect your teen’s opinion. Listen to her without playing down her concerns.
⇒ Encourage your teen to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
⇒ If your teen engages in interactive internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage her to make good decisions about what she posts and the amount of time she spends on these activities.
⇒ If your teen works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibilities, and other ways of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
⇒ Talk with your teen and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs or under pressure drink or party late, or is offered a ride by someone who has been drinking.
⇒ Respect your teen’s need for privacy.
⇒ Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
⇒ Encourage your teen to have meals with the family. Eating together will help your teen make better choices about the foods she eats, promote healthy weight, and give family members time to talk with each other. In addition, a teen who eats meals with the family is more likely to have better grades and less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. She is also less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, or engage in sexual activity.
Safety Matters
⇒ You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here are a few ways to help protect your child:
Talk with your teen about the dangers of driving and how to be safe on the road. You can steer your teen in the right direction. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death from unintentional injury among teens, yet few teens take measures to reduce their risk of injury.
⇒ Remind your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike, motorcycle etc. Unintentional injuries resulting from participation in sports and other activities are common.
⇒ Talk with your teen about suicide and pay attention to warning signs. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youth 15 through 24 years of age.
⇒ Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and risky activity. Ask him what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your feelings with him. Listen to what he says and answer his questions honestly and directly.
⇒ Discuss with your teen the importance of choosing friends who do not act in dangerous or unhealthy ways.
⇒ Know where your teen is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with her for when she will call you, where you can find her, and what time you expect her home.
